Well… God as you know today was hard. I was so embarassed on the plane to Houston because I couldn’t stop the tears and the sniffling. It didn’t help that I was getting books of insults and crude words from Kenna as we were boarding and taking off. I realize my kids don’t know what […]
I think our lessons are tied to our blessings. God prepares us to hold what’s coming by testing us in the same area over and over until we pass the test. For me, I seem to want to depend on a man and God is continually showing me that they aren’t coming to my rescue. […]
Maybe everything didn’t work out because it wouldn’t have been what I wanted anyway. I want to be a bride. I want a man to want to marry me more than he wants to breathe. I want a man to be so excited for our wedding night where I’ll wear white in purity and there […]
I get excited like a little child that loves telling the story of miracles when I speak about how this new job offer that arrived yesterday came about. Two weeks ago I was laying in bed crying at night and wrote a letter to God asking him to give me a new job. I didn’t […]
God, I keep hearing his voice and seeing the things I’ve walked through since then. I see the battle I went into trying to make what he said not true. I did the same thing as a child. When my mother told me that my dad wanted nothing to do with me I went to […]
Last night I woke up at about 3am with the normal heaviness and sadness on my chest. I looked to my phone to see if he had called or texted and he hadn’t. And I wondered why that feeling was there. I had done the thing I thought the Holy Spirit was asking me to […]
What God is doing is so much better than anything I could’ve planned. And it’s really odd to begin to see some of the little puzzle pieces coming together. First of all, I’m seeing how when something really bad happens that shakes your world upside down, sometimes more bad things happen and it can feel […]
Dear D. I’m in Houston with Drako and leave tomorrow for LA and then on to New York. You know I’ll be there tomorrow because last time we spoke you asked me when I was in town so you could “have sex with me”. Since you brought up sex I asked you if you’d tried […]
Yesterday I decided to distract myself from the overthinking I’ve been trapped inside of for years that seem like a season in hell to pick up the guitars I’d bought at the Goodwill store and start painting. I’m not exactly an artist. Even my stick figures are hard to make out. But I have this […]
I did really good today. I got through my morning prayer session with the beautiful ladies from Scotland. Then I gave Drako a bath and then I made guitar lamps while listening to the “let them theory” audio book on my phone. I felt at peace for a bit and I did things that helped […]
